http://www.connectingtosuccess.com

Download the podcast Quality Voice to learn more.

Download handout here.

P.S. At the end of the podcast, it’s the sound of the thunder~~~

To learn more about how to project your voice, join Cynthia in the workshop Harness Your Speaking Voice on 20 November 2010. Details to be found here. Register to reserve a limited seat here.

To learn more about how to project your voice, join Cynthia in the workshop Harness Your Speaking Voice on 20 November 2010. Details to be found here. Register to reserve a limited seat here.

What’s the difference between volume and pitch?

In many presentation training or public speaking training courses, it’s never explained clearly.

Dowanload the podcast – Volume & Pitch - to learn more.

Download Script.

To learn more about how to project your voice, join Cynthia in the workshop Harness Your Speaking Voice on 20 November 2010. Details to be found here. Register to reserve a limited seat here.

To learn more about vocal variety, join Cynthia in the workshop Harness Your Speaking Voice on 20 November 2010. Details to be found here. Register to reserve a limited seat here.

Do you find it difficult asserting yourself, either in a professional setting or in your personal life?

To assert yourself means that you stand up for your own rights while respecting others’; you defend your own boundaries while respecting others’; you express your own opinions, needs, and feelings without apology or hurting others. I love this interpretation about assertiveness: to disagree without being disagreeable.

To assert yourself indicates your level of self-esteem and self-assurance. Lack of assertiveness can affect your career prospects and quality of life. When you act more assertively, you communicate more effectively and command much respect.

Assertiveness is such a critical skill in communication. Within 0.15 seconds, you will find more than 1,320,000 “google” results on how to be assertive, e.g. think before you speak, don’t apologize if it’s not warranted, remember it is ok to say “no”…… just to name a few.

Yet years none of them worked for me! I didn’t achieve any breakthrough on assertiveness until I did my voice study.

You and I, we do relate voices with personality traits, e.g. a deep voice comes across as credible, trustworthy, and authoritative; while a soft voice comes across as friendly, warm, or unsure.

What does an assertive voice sound like? Confident, grounded, and self-assured.

How to sound confident, grounded, and self-assured? You need to know what makes an assertive voice. It is your optimum pitch, the resonance in your voice and the correct cadence.

When I first thought about developing my voice, half of me was doubtful while the other half thought, “Why not make changes and see the result?”

I started to discover my optimum pitch, develop the resonance and apply cadence in my voice. The more I developed, the more amazed I was. Not only did I tap the potential in my voice, but the realization I had in my mind. By sounding more assertive, I realized, all individuals, we do and should have our own desires, feelings, and opinions; we do and should stand up for our own rights; and we do and should defend our own personal boundaries.

The changes prompted me to reflect on why it really worked and I finally figured it out.

Changes happen in two ways:

Change the internal (your mind) and then the external (your behaviors/body) will follow; or

Change the external (your behavior/body), the internal (your mind) will ultimately change.

In one word, changing one, either your mind or your behavior/body, ultimately influences the other.

That is exactly how Yoga works. We practice the external (our body, e.g. different postures) to discover and change the internal (our mind). Just as B.K.S. Iyengar, the living legend and leading teacher of Yoga, pointed out in his book Light on Life, “It is through the alignment of my body that I discovered the alignment of my mind.” “We all know that mind affects body. Why not, suggests Yoga, try the other way round – access mind through body.”

Are you assertive enough? Are you still struggling in finding strategies to be more assertive? Are you disappointed at all your attempts to be more assertive? Why not go the other way around? Make changes from the external. It will affect your internal, you mind, ultimately, sometimes the changes comes even faster than the other way around.

Eliminating nasality takes time and practice. Most importantly, start to be aware of your nasality NOW.

Wathc the video below to learn more.

Download Nasality Handout.

• Clarity

Clarify the message you want to get across. Whenever you prepare a speech, ask yourself: “What do I want the audience to know, to do, or to feel?” Can you state your message in one sentence? If not, chances are that you are not clear about the message yourself.

Develop a clear and engaging structure. A thoughtfully crafted speech will lead your audience step by step from the beginning to the end. Grab them with your opening, involve them in the development, and move them into action with your closing. Repeat important points whenever necessary.

Deliver with clarity. Give each spot of your stage a meaning, be it different points, different objects, or different chronological orders in your speech. Move with a purpose. Moving around on the stage aimlessly will only bring confusion and distraction to your audience.

• Descriptive Words & Rhetorical Devices

Your audience will remember better when they are engaged with more senses. Use words that appeal to your audience’s senses, helping them see, hear, feel, taste and smell.

Select words that fire up your audience’s imagination and help them visualize what you are saying.

Adopt action verbs and active voice. They paint pictures in your audience’s mind. They convey action and emotions, and help you drive ideas home.

Incorporate rhetorical devices. Rhetorical devices, like simile, metaphor, alliteration, and triads, make ideas sound more pleasing and easier for your audience to remember.

Last point to end this Speaking to the Ear series, make sure read out loud your speech to your friends and ask them to listen to anything that gets them stuck or seek questions from them. Then rewrite your speech until you and your friends are on the same page.

Also read: Speaking to the Ear (I)

You probably have created a lot of to-do-lists, for your work and your life, for everyday and everything. But, have you ever considered the other list, your never to-do-list? It’s as important as your to-do-list. In fact, I would say it’s even more important.

Here are the top 5 items in my never-to-do-list. They have served me through those years and helped me become who I am. I list them here with the hope of serving as a spur to induce yours.

1. Never Seek Validation from Others

If you are seeking validation from others, you are in self-doubt. If you are not sure about yourself and your ability, no one will have confidence in you. Instead, direct your focus inwards, keep improving yourself and take control of your own future. No one is eligible to tell you if you are good or not, except yourself. Seek perspective, not validation from others.

2. Never Doubt Yourself

Whenever you have a doubt, you strangled any hope that possibly lies ahead. Many a time, what you really doubt is not whether you are able to achieve it or not, but whether you are ready to give out all that you have to make it, be it your efforts, your time, or your energy. All that we want in life can come true, if we are eager enough to get it and adopt the correct way to get it. So the question for you is, are you willing to give out all that you have to make it?

3. Never Compare Yourself to Others

We are so different from each other, from the background and environment we were brought up, to the way we think, we see and we feel. No two leaves are identical. Comparing yourself to others serves you nothing but frustration, jealousy and anger, which are all killers to your character as well as your appearance. Have you ever wondered why some people look angry even when they are not? It’s all resulted from inside out. Grow your character from inside out.

4. Never Ask for a Hand before You Lend One

It has been taught centuries after centuries.

“What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.” – Confucius

“Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” – JFK

“Leaders touch a heart first before they ask for a hand.” – John Maxwell

Another greater one, I couldn’t find who said it, “Better yet, never expect return when you give out.” I love this one.

5. Never Seek Happiness outside

Happiness is not a thing, but a feeling, a contentment to life itself and everything we have. Happiness is always there inside of us. Stop looking around for happiness, look inwards and you will find it. Trust me.

And now, what’s yours? Leave it in the comment.